Latest News
Lincoln signs Emancipation Proclamation
Crazy middle easterns do crazy shit
Black guy whines about racism
President eats pineapple
Israelis and Palestinians agree to continue fighting
Aliens land on Puerto Rico
Christianity and Islam agree to merger
Buddhism acquires Sikhism
Judaism acquires News Corp.
President uses bathroom
Bigfoot claims to have seen the Loch Ness monster
New health insurance insurance plan to waste $48 billion a year
“Hell is closing in on us,” concludes global warming study
Roe agrees to rematch versus Wade
Study shows that the universe doesn’t exist
God decides to charge earth for sunlight
Jews decide to charge God for cable TV
God decides to “un-choose” the Jews
Kosher Foods, Inc. stock plummets 99%
Study shows that other study is bullshit
Study shows that all studies are bullshit
Bullshit shows that all studies are Jewish propaganda
President spends all Sunday watching football
California declares war on Nevada
Salvation Army declares war on Red Cross
Man who says “either” declares war on man who says “eye-ther”
Iran declares war on rest of world
Iran declares war on itself
Iran declares war on the electron
WAR declares war on Earth, Wind & Fire
President opens door
Bill Gates goes berserk in Apple store, smashes computers with sledgehammer
Warren Buffett buys South Dakota, secedes from Union
Man pees on modem, causes worldwide internet malfunction
Moon disappears during daytime
Confused drug dealer chases police
New IV-Tunes device injects music directly into bloodstream
Study shows that study doesn’t show anything
God sues Mel Gibson for copyright infringement
Hammurabi sues God for copyright infringement
Scientists develop low carb carbohydrates, low cal calories, and food free food
Scientists find link between money and wealth
Scientists find link between science and science
Scientists find link between links and cuffs
Scientific study shows that scientific method is unscientific
Nothing happens in Wyoming
Man gets up and goes to bed early, does not become healthy, wealthy, or wise
Man eats an apple a day, keeps the doctor away
New “Apple a Day” healthcare plan to save country $2.6 trillion annually
Soviet Union unveils new “2 Apples a Day” plan
US raises stakes to three apples
China gets in on the action and makes it four apples
Man breathes air
Government replaces US Dollar with Pokemon cards
Jesus comes back, says he was misquoted
Earth changes course, begins revolving around Kanye West’s ego
US and Canada announce 14 city trade
US releases Alaska, signs Greenland to a 43 year deal worth up $32 billion
Kelly Kapowki’s popularity rating skyrockets
President disapproves of his approval rating
Study shows that 83% of internet content is bullshit
Study shows that 89% of non-internet content is bullshit
Study shows that 4% of bullshit is true
Study shows that your boyfriend is sleeping with your other boyfriend
Satan claims Hell is actually “a lot of fun”
President divorces wife, marries Britney Spears